The Storm

Sometimes it is hard to be single. More often than not, it is downright difficult. Thankfully, most of us have people to help us through when life is being… life. We have family, friends and our church family as well. The main thing to remember is that we have Jesus to count on. Jesus never fails us and Jesus will always be there for us. (Why is it that we forget this so often??)

When we struggle to stay sober / clean / abstinate or whatever the vice is, we are not alone. We can call on the name of Jesus to help us through the hardest times, deepest valley or wildest storm. In life, there are always choices and decisions to make. When there is a storm happening in your world, the choice of how to respond is yours. You can choose to be as wild as the storm, giving in to those vices or you can choose to stay within the eye of the storm, where it is calm, and you can watch the storm happen around you. I can tell you from experience that it takes more strength to stay in the eye of the storm than it does to get lost in the wind.

In 1 John, we are told to ‘come before Jesus in confidence, and ask according to His will.’

Ask according to His will.   What exactly does that mean? Does it mean I don’t get the things I want? Does it mean I have to give up all of my ‘stuff’ to be a Christian?

No.

Asking according to God’s will basically means being so in tune with God through prayer and study that His desires become our desires for our lives, and we then forget why we would want anything else. God’s plan is so much richer for our lives than the one we thought we wanted.

We also do not have to give up everything to become a Christian. There are things that should be given up because they are bad for our health, but we can still have fun. Christians are capable of far more fun than non-Christians believe.. I've laughed hardest with my Christian friends than any other group through my entire life. The things God would have us experience as Christians far outweighs what we experience as non-Christians.

Whatever it is you may be searching for, wherever it is you think you should go… seek counsel with God first and make sure you are on the path He desires for you. It won’t make life simple or easy, but it will be more bearable.

Between Prince Charming and Mr. Darcy

By the title, you are probably expecting some fairy tale romantic idea to come from me. Not true, although I expect God has different ideas (I believe He is a romantic, after all. Why else would He have given us romance?). After the men I have met (and who have asked me out) over the past couple of months, I have determined my mate is somewhere between Prince Charming and Mr. Darcy. Those old world chivalrous rules and ideas about how to treat women are at the forefront of any relationship. That is exactly what I am looking for.

What I am not looking for is someone who is needy (emotionally) nor am I looking for someone who behaves like a child. Typically that goes for men and women, but I expect the man I will marry will not behave like a child, throwing tantrums or acting childish when we disagree. I also am unable to handle anyone who makes assumptions about me without knowing me.

One of the guys who recently asked me out thought he should surprise me with plans for a first date. This is NEVER a good idea, guys. WHY? You most likely do not know the woman well enough to properly surprise her. Meeting for coffee at a local venue is a great first date, because you get the chance to talk and get to know each other. That being said, if you decide to go through with the surprise plans, make sure you think things through.

Where is she coming from (work, home, the gym)?

Will she have time to change into something appropriate for the activity planned? (Are you planning to let her know how to dress?)

Will she be comfortable with the activity planned? (Did you consider an alternative if it is something she really doesn’t like?)

Will she even like it? (For the record, the activity that was planned for this surprise date is something I loathe and would never choose to do.)

I did not go out with this particular guy and then was accused of some things because I chose not to go out with him. There were too many red flags, and someone who behaves the way he did after I told him I could not go out with him is just another red flag to add to the stack.

On the opposite side of that, another man who asked me out (that I ended up not going out with) behaved quite differently after I told him no. He was very kind and then ended up realizing some things about himself he did not yet know. I believe I was put into his life (from our many conversations) to show him he most likely is not ready to date at this point. You know what? That is okay, on both sides. Sometimes a certain personality is just what the other person needs to come to an understanding of things in their own life. It is not the end of the world, nor is it a reflection of either person in any way. The same thing happens within friendships as well, and the result (if the listener is receptive) is almost always positive.

I have determined I should get to know a man first before I actually go on a date with him. My feelings and intuition are generally on target, as I have repeatedly proven to myself. Ladies, Gentlemen.. if you meet someone and something does not feel right, go with those feelings. Do not ignore them, as you may save yourself a whole lot of heartache.

Back to Prince Charming and Mr. Darcy – he’s out there, somewhere. I think I was born in the wrong century sometimes, with my expectations of how a man should treat me. I love Pride and Prejudice as well as the story of Snow White, so for my ideal mate to be somewhere in between, well, it makes perfect sense to me.

As for my dating life… it is still the same. And I’m okay with waiting for Prince Charming. Or Mr. Darcy. Or the man who falls right in the middle.