Happiness is a Choice

Too many times we (especially women) allow external forces to control our emotions and thoughts. The control can come from anywhere – a person we are interested in, events happening in our lives (or not happening), how people treat us, financial issues and, well, I could go on and on. Let’s face it, we allow a whole bunch of external forces to control our everyday lives.

But it does not have to be that way.

Paul tells us that we should love our neighbor as ourselves, and to walk by the Spirit so that we are not carrying out the desires of our flesh. Our flesh is in opposition to the Spirit, and as such, we must constantly be on guard so that we do not fall victim to fleshly desires.

The Fruits of the Spirit are the  goal we should strive to attain, and those Fruits will help to combat the fleshly desires we are bombarded with on a daily basis.

So, in getting back to choosing happiness without those ‘external forces’ affecting our choices – it is a daily struggle. Sometimes it is an hourly, or even minute by minute struggle. That’s okay, small doses can get us through just as much as big ones.

Be the Light...  

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” ― Daphne du Maurier

Reflection

So, I just heard a song that took me back about 20 years.. it was my senior prom song, or whatever you call it. The Dance by Garth Brooks.

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

It’s one of those things where you wonder ‘IF’ things had gone another way:

If I had made different choices.. in work, my personal life

If I was a different person altogether

If I had not made some (seemingly) bad decisions in my younger years

I think we all wish certain things in our lives had been different, but those choices we made then have formed us into who we are today. Good, bad, ugly.. whatever you think you are.

I love how God tells us in Romans that nothing can separate us from His love.. no matter what we’ve done, the decisions we have made, the place we have come to in our lives at

THIS. VERY. MOMENT.

You are where you are supposed to be. You are who you are supposed to be.

Nothing you have done has been done in vain.

Some thoughts to remember as you go about your life…..

That 'GOD' Thing

Do you ever get that little thing in the back of your mind when God is trying to tell you something? If He is really wanting you to hear it, and you aren't listening, does He ever speak through someone else?

That happens to me a lot. Cause I think I'm pretty smart, but I don't always get what I'm supposed to get the first time. You could call me stubborn.

It happened last week. I heard what He was saying, but wanted to go my own way. (bad idea-nearly got me into some trouble!)

Then today, He said the SAME EXACT THING, but through someone else. Something I was struggling with. You know what? I have a friend who is struggling with the same thing. (Isn't it weird how God really just works this out? Like, in a good way weird?).

I actually like it when God works this way, because I need that extra reinforcement sometimes.

See, I'm human, and just like every other human on this planet, I make mistakes. Sometimes, they are

REALLY BIG MISTAKES

I never seem to be able to run away from them. God always sees and knows what I've done. Thankfully, He's the only one who will judge me in the end. Other people seem to think they should judge me (and boy do they try!) but God is the only one I'll answer too. (I've never broken the law, so that doesn't come into play).

God doesn't want any of us to fail, or to struggle with sin on a day to day basis. Especially if it is a sin that keeps coming back.. I could name them, but I won't. Each of us knows our weaknesses and shortcomings.

Thank God for GOD being who He is, who He will always be. I'm so blessed to be His daughter, and to know He forgives me when I do fail. And I am also so incredibly blessed when I know He will make me stronger through the difficult journeys... I just have to trust Him and know He has it all figured out.

Isaiah 58:11

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹¹ “And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

No more knight in shining armor

I read a blog today that is basically about the differences between men and women. It seems that men think differently than women, and need different things than women need to feel loved.

Who knew?

I chuckled at some of the comments, because I used to be that young twenty-something with the mile long list of non-negotiable items. I crossed A LOT of men (really, they were boys, as I look back and think about it) off of my list after learning some things about them. I still have some non-negotiables, but I am not as strict about a lot of things as I have matured and learned. Looking for perfection is not reasonable nor is it practical. Perfection does not exist on this planet J

The funny thing about those lists is that I was told by married women to make the lists. I would ‘FIND’ my future husband by making a list of (demands) attributes I was looking for. Well, I made my list, and then I held every guy I met up to it and deemed him unworthy of me because he did not fit every single line.

Then I met a little something called reality, and realized there was no knight in shining armor, or fake movie character that would enter my life. The flaws of the movie character are so obvious and then neatly resolved in a couple of hours.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

I like to think that when I do get married, I’ll be the perfect wife who does everything right. (uh huh) Then reality smacks ME in the face with something resembling a 2x4 and I know I will do stuff that is going to make my future husband irate and wonder why in the world he thought marrying me would be a good idea (here’s hoping he gets past that quickly though!).

I do hope and pray I would be the kind of wife who would forgive my man’s ‘man’ stuff as much as he would forgive me my ‘woman’ stuff. Marriage is work, I know that and have no fantasy that it will be a walk in the park.

At my age, I figure I won’t be meeting or marrying anyone who hasn’t already been through a marriage, and most likely has kids. I’m okay with that, and know there are a lot of conversations in the future about how parenting a combined household will work.

So, all of that to say that I am firmly grounded in reality, and no longer expect perfection in my mate, because I hope he won’t expect it in me.

I’m NOT Broken

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how (some) married people treat single people. I’m sure they think they have good intentions, but it just seems…. Off.

By this I mean there are certain married people (and for the most part, it is the women) who seem to think it is their mission to ‘FIX’ us single people. Or fix us up. (UGH!!! NO!!!)

We aren’t broken.

Other times, those women seem to want to throw their married status in our single faces about how

AAA-MMM-AAA-ZING

WONDERFUL

PERFECT

their married lives are, or that somehow, they are better than us because they are married and single’s are.. single.

I’ve actually had two women stand in front of me and go on and on and on about their husbands and then look at me as if I had two heads because I couldn’t say anything. Because I don’t have a husband to go on and on and on about.

(But if I did, you’d better believe I’ll brag about him – but to my married friends)

I didn’t exactly choose to be in this spot in my life, but I accept it and the path I have taken to get here.

Being single is a choice I have made, and I do not regret it. I am okay where I am currently.

So please, married people, stop trying to “fix” single people. If a single person needs fixing, you probably can’t help them anyway.

And unless we specifically ask you to, please do not fix us up with other singles.

It is completely awkward for us.

And MOST importantly.....