I spent the weekend in Estes Park, CO with a bunch of
friends from my Christian singles group. My good friend Mackie Jones (www.doyouwanttobehealed.wordpress.com)
had a wonderful devotional prepared for us on Saturday night. The topic – and I
know I’m going to mess this up, but these are my thoughts from the weekend –
was basically “are you the person the person you are looking for is looking
for?”
I simplified it so I could make sure I remembered the main
point. Am I someone I would marry? My honest answer is – No.
2
Corinthians 3:18 (NASB)
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the
glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to
glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
While I am waiting on this man to enter my life, the one God
intends for me, there are things I must be doing to prepare for this
relationship.
1.
I need to YIELD to God, allowing His creative
work in me to happen
2.
I cannot resist God, or I will not grow.
3.
I cannot speed up the process either.
I do find it amusing that when I decide to truly and
honestly work on my relationship with Jesus, someone tries to stop me, putting these
ginormous stumbling blocks in my path.
You KNOW this thing. Its name is satan, fallen angel and
father of lies (John 8:44). He does everything he possibly can to distract me
and keep me from running the race. Sometimes, I allow this distraction.
He
plays on my weakness.
He uses
my heart’s desire against me.
My weakness comes in the form of men who show interest. NOT
every man., mind you - and I am no where near desperate (If I were, I think I would be in a bad relationship right now). These men are NOT what I need or truly want in my life, because
there is usually a something missing, a key characteristic that is my top ‘thing’ they all
need to have.
And the other thing is.. these men do not fit the qualities
of the man God intends for me to spend the rest of my life with, and I’m okay
with it. I’m not looking for someone who can’t seem maintain control of
themselves. Drunkards, foul-mouthed, constantly putting me down or picking at
me to get a rise out of me (or to make them feel better about themselves??), or
the man who just isn’t a Believer in Jesus Christ. These are only a few of the
characteristics that are distasteful to me, but they are the most recent ones I
have encountered.
I have begun to react differently when I encounter men like
this. I go to my failsafe, fallback, most trustworthy item I could possibly go
to for defense: 
Ephesians 6:10-17 (NASB)
10 Finally,
be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be
able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against
flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world
forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you
will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand
firm. 14 Stand
firm therefore, having
girded your loins with truth, and having put
on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and having shod your feet with the
preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 in addition to all, taking up the shield
of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the
evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
James 4:7 (NASB)
7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Love it Julie! Nice job summing up the study and processing through what it all meant for you.
ReplyDeleteGod said it is not good for man to be alone. It is not a suggestion. He is warning us not to be alone. Not obeying His word is sin. Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Many women don't want to do this therefore they stay single. It is still sin.
ReplyDeleteFrank, with all the respect and sincerity I have, I have to tell you that your understanding of this narrative in Scripture is way off-base. God isn't declaring Adam's "alone"-ness as sinful. He says it's not good because Adam is without a companion, a "helper fit for him". Read carefully and prayerfully the text in Genesis 2, starting in verse 18 and following. There is no proclamation of Adam's condition as sinful--in fact, this is before the Fall...so sin hasn't entered the picture yet. The Father simply says it's "not good" and sets about creating a helper suitable for Adam. Later in chapter 2, we read as The Father causes a deep sleep to fall upon Adam as He goes to work forming woman from his rib. The declaration then comes that "Therefore [read "for this reason..." or "because of this...", pointing back to everything that has transpired in the preceding passage], a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast [understood as faithful, without relent] to his wife..." and you know the rest. There is no designation of sin found in this passage. There is no "warning" against singleness.
DeleteYou are right that failure to obey His Word (specifically, that which He commands) is sin. My fear here, though, is your understanding of "submit" and how you draw the line from your understanding of that to declaring it sinful.
I'd encourage you to prayerfully, carefully examine the Scriptures on this and let the Spirit who authored it all guide you to a clear, correct understanding.
God said it is not good for man to be alone. He created woman from man for man. Nothing says we should be single. Many people don't want what God says. Therefore they live in sin. Agsin the Word says When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing. The Word says wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. Women who don't submit to their husbands are sinning against God and their husband. Being a Christian is not a belief but a way of life. There are many excuses for not being in a marriage. Most stumbling blocks come from within.
ReplyDeleteAgain, without suitable companionship. The Father did create woman from man and, yes, there is nothing in Scripture that says we SHOULD be single--oh, wait...Paul did "wish" that his Corinthian readers could be as he was (unmarried and free to focus on serving the Lord), but understood that lifestyle is not for everyone. But none of Scripture ever declares singleness to be a sin. And, yes, the word does say that he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22, and one of my favorite Trip Lee tracks) but, again, the Word of God never declares singleness or the unmarried state to be sinful. Paul speaks on the issue of marriage and singleness in 1 Corinthians 7--again, never calls the unmarried state sinful.
DeleteAgain, I'm troubled by your use of the term submit. Scripture does teach that a wife is submit unto her husband as unto The Lord--but it's not in a secondary / subservient way. Rather, the husband is to love her sacrificially, laying down all he has for his bride--just as Christ laid down His life for His "bride"...that His love brings "her" to life and sanctifies her, helping her be all that He wills. The tone with which you use the term "submit" causes me to think you don't have a correct understanding of what Scripture teaches on that principle. Again, I encourage you to prayerfully, carefully consider these texts.
Frank - I moderate the comments on my blog, for good reason. You are speaking half truths. Nowhere in the Bible does God demand that we marry, and tell us that staying single is a sin. As a matter of fact, every single one of the disciples was single, as were Jesus and Paul.
ReplyDeleteHere is the entire passage related to marriage, including the verse you mentioned, as well as the ones talking about the husband and his actions towards his wife in a marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-33 - 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church [q]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
The husband is to "love his wife as CHRIST loved the church, giving Himself up for her." This is a sacrificial love..the husband is to make sure his wife is "holy and blameless", and love her like he "loves his own body."
Your suggestion that I (along with other single Christians) am sinning because I am not married is incorrect. I also understand you to say that I apparently am not married because I refuse to "submit" to a man. Well, I'll tell you something - when a man who is Godly comes along, I won't have a problem with it. I must say I have met men who profess to be Christian. However, their actions say otherwise. 2 Cor. 6:14 says to not be "unequally yoked." By your opinion, I should choose the first guy who glances my way so that I am not "sinning" by being single. However, those who have glanced my way are Mormon, non-believers, new Christians (not wrong, but I should not be teaching the man how to be a Christian and would not want to provide any level of temptation to fall back into the ways of the world) and so on. None of these qualify in my book.
ReplyDeleteAs for the professed Christians who have glanced my way, there is a problem there too. Some were recently (w/i 6 mon to 1 yr) divorced and not healed from that, others have personality conflicts, and yet others were very immature.. but I should sacrifice my own sanity to marry someone who is not the one God has chosen for me??
2 Thessalonians 3:6-8 (NASB)
6 Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, 8 nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you;
Here is a comment from another blog:
http://www.gospel.com/blog/index.php/2008/02/26/a-biblical-introduction-to-singleness/
Again here’s Albert Hsu:
Today we need to rediscover the balance of valuing both marrieds and singles. Some of the greatest leaders of church history lived their whole lives as singles: Saint Francis of Assisi, Thomas Aquinas, Joan of Arc, Teresa of Avila, Thomas À Kempis, Bernard of Clairvaux. More recently, Protestant leaders such as Methodist circuit rider Francis Asbury, missionaries Amy Carmichael and Helen Roseveare, and German martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer were all single. C. S. Lewis was a bachelor for most of his life, married at age 57, was married for only four years, and remained a celibate widower after his wife’s death. British theologian John Stott, now in his 70s and never married, has had a significant worldwide ministry. Mother Teresa spent seven decades serving the poor in India as a single woman.
A truly Christian view of singleness and marriage will honor both without disparaging one or the other.