Modesty, Summer and Bikini's

A friend of mine posted a blog on his facebook page and I am so glad he did. We were posted in Iraq at the same time and he was (still is) a Chaplain’s Assistant.

Let me back up a little it… I have been working out four days a week (five days starting next week) for the past 6 weeks. I have started seeing changes and I actually really like going to the gym now. I’m feeling better and losing weight. I was talking about swimwear with someone a couple of weeks ago and said I wouldn’t wear a bikini for another year, til I worked everything where I was comfortable.

HOWEVER, I will never wear a bikini. Ever. In public. (Someday, when I am alone with my husband, I would wear one, but it would be for him). I like bikini’s.. I think some of them are really cute. There are many that are quite tasteful, but I’m not going to wear one in public.

Modesty… it is moving further and further away from everything we know in this world. I see so many girls wearing something you can barely call a bikini, and honestly, it disgusts me. Some do it for attention, but they are calling the wrong attention to themselves.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NASB)

⁹ Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, ¹⁰ but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.

 

As a Christian, I do not want to show my body off to the world. I feel uncomfortable with the idea that I have to dress in a certain manner to attract attention. Like I said about the skimpy bikini, I do not want to call the wrong kind of attention to myself.

The girl in this blog gives the reasons so simply and straight forward and I completely agree with her. Not wearing a bikini in public, no matter how secure I feel, is a sacrifice for the men around me. Like the author of this blog, I want the men around me to look past my physical appearance and see my inner beauty. My physical appearance will fade as the years progress, but the man I end up with for a lifetime will love me for more than that (God has promised).

I also do not want men I do not know staring at me in a manner that is inappropriate – i.e. lustful. This is NOT a declaration that I think highly of myself. Men are visual creatures, and their eyes get them in trouble. I would hope, when I do marry, the man I am with has enough respect for me to not allow his eyes to wander.

My family does a vacation together and we often go to the beach. I have a dad, a brother, two brother-in-laws and two nephews, plus my son. I would never wear anything to embarrass them or make them uncomfortable. With the younger boys, I would not want to provide any kind of inappropriate image for them to see. It is a respect issue for me, and more specifically, my respect for them as my family. For my sisters and my brother’s girlfriend and my stepmother and my nieces, I do not want to disrespect them either. I want my nieces to see an example to follow, and not be misled in the ways of the world. I also would like for the younger boys to see an example (between the women in the family) of how their future wives should dress and behave.

So, as summer is upon us, I have to go bathing suit shopping, since I have friends who have pools. But I will not purchase a bikini. A tankini, or a cute one piece… I’ll be happy with that.

 

 

 

Apathy

What is apathy? It is another word for lazy, lethargic, or indifferent.

We all have moments of apathy in our lives… whether it be the things we do, or the people around us. Sometimes we are apathetic because we are afraid to do something different or new.

And sometimes, we are just plain afraid of getting hurt.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Well, God has been working on me lately and has been showing me some things I never realized were there. Apathy is one of them. The definition that fits me was indifferent… in almost everything.

Sure, I care about things, but never wanted to make a real effort. That usually meant letting people get close to me, close enough to hurt me. I mean, who likes getting their heart beaten on?

See, this is where trust comes in… trusting God, for everything. I was able to talk to a friend today who was worried about upcoming boards for a license, and reminded her that in Matthew, Jesus tells the disciples that “…with God, all things are possible.”

And now I (you) remind myself (yourself), that I (you) do not have to fear, for God will defend and protect me (you). He will always be there and He will guide me (you) the way I (you) need to go.

Let me ask you this: have you built walls around your heart?

I have… they are still there, and for good reason. Too many people with bad intentions can crush it if I allow them access.   

I like that quote:

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

I pride myself on being honest, and I have to start within if I am going to allow someone to break those walls down. I love this Psalm… David had a FEARLESS TRUST in God…

Psalm 27:1-3 (NASB)

A Psalm of Fearless Trust in God.
A Psalm of David.

27 The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
² When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
³ Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.

 Be confident in trusting the God of all things... for He is with us, even today.

Where do you draw the line?

When do you say ‘ENOUGH’ to those people who use you as an emotional punching bag?

We all have had people in our lives who, for lack of a better word, were emotional vampires, sucking the life out of us through their manipulation and games. Seems like I’ve written about this before. I write about it again because these emotional vampires keep popping up in my life or the lives of the people around me that I care about.

Last year I went through this with someone who constantly lied and manipulated me to the point where I was a basket case. He was an emotional vampire. I swore it wouldn’t happen to me again, and it won’t – specifically when it comes to men.

There is nothing in the world worse than being used, manipulated, treated terribly, and lied to by the people who claim to care about you. If someone truly cares about you, they treat you right, no matter the circumstances.

Yes, when we are angry we tend to say things to each other, but if the feelings for another are true, striking out, name calling and other dirty fighting tends not to happen because even through the anger, you still care enough not to be cruel.

I was reading something a friend posted on facebook yesterday, and one of the verses she used was Proverbs 18:21 (NASB):

²¹ Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

My translation says it slightly different than hers, but the words mean the same. Words have power over people. The things you say can cut like a knife or be a soothing balm. It is up to us how we choose to use them.

Singles – look within yourself and ask God to show you those things you need to work on before you get married. There are things I’ve been realizing about myself lately that I know would make me more difficult to live with, so I am taking the steps to correct it… NOW…before marriage comes my way. I think it would be easier to fix now rather than fight about it through a couple of years.

I’m not perfect, but I do not plan to be difficult once I reach the point of that level of commitment with the man God intends me to be with. I do refuse to be a doormat, for someone to walk all over, but my years of independence have made me strong, too strong for the wrong man (I’ve said it before… I’ve been told I scare men because of my strength and independence. Obviously they are the wrong men, because I won’t scare the right one). I don’t want to run the home on my own. It isn’t for me to do that once I am married. So, I am working on some things that will need to tone down once I do get to that level of commitment.

God is showing me what I need to do in order to be the right woman for the right man, and while I know some things in my heart, I still have to make the effort on my own to make the changes, through God’s guidance and love. I can not take back the things I give up and say “My way is better” or “He won’t do this or that so I have to.”

The key that man I ultimately commit to needs to understand is this: HE has to take my heart out of God’s Hands,  accept it, protect it and cherish it - forever.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)

¹¹ For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

 

 

 

 

 

God Hears Us

As I was doing my devotion this morning, some verses jumped out at me through a couple of the things I read, bringing to the forefront some things in my own life that I deal with on a daily basis.

Romans 8:31-32 (NASB)

³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? ³² He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

One of the things I read in the morning is a devotional called ‘Jesus Calling’ and I love it!!! I receive so much from it, and there are many days it coincides with the chapters of the Bible I am reading that day, or at least has some connection.

This morning, I read the words ‘The Creator of the Universe’ and thought for a moment… wow. And He is ON MY SIDE, through everything I experience. Sometimes that feels overwhelming, because we are so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things – or someone says the words to try and make us feel that way – but God is still there. And He wants to be there. He IS there, through all things.

Mark 8:34-35 (NASB)

³⁴ And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. ³⁵ For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.

Deny self. DENY self. How difficult is that? For me, it can be pretty difficult at times, depending on what it is that I desire at the moment. Sometimes it is just peace and quiet, others it is the need to be around people. I don’t have all of the answers, but I do know God provides exactly what we need at precisely the moment we need it. His timing is always perfect, and even when I feel like He isn’t around or doesn’t care what is going on in my life, He proves me wrong.

Micah 7:7 (NASB)
⁷ But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation.
My God will hear me.

God hears us. In the midst of stressful moments, while dealing with difficulties, in the valley or on top of the mountain, He hears us no matter what is going on in our lives and that is a reassurance like no other.

 

 

Cross Stitch Life

There has been an issue on my heart lately, one that I repeatedly deal with due to circumstances and events in my own past. The reflection is this: I see my life one way, while God sees it another.

I look back on my life and see pain, broken-ness, failure and basically, a mess. I see some good that has happened, and I definitely look back and see where God was working and how He guided me to certain places. I see that in my life now.

I also see where I failed to trust Him when I needed Him the most. Doubt enters my mind and my heart, and I wonder if there is something more out there for me. The devil likes to play tricks with our minds, and he is good at it too. I brought this up last week… it is an ongoing  battle, but one I am determined to win, especially since I have Jesus Christ on my side.

James 1:6 (NASB)

⁶ But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

James 4:7-8 (NASB)

⁷ Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Digging a little into the Book of James tonight shows us how wrong doubt truly is. We all have battles… some we win, some we lose. Ultimately, we have the Champion above all champions on our side, so we can never truly fail.

‘Submit to God’ means to give Him full authority over our lives.

‘Resist the devil’ tells me to NOT ALLOW the devil to lure and tempt me.

‘Cleanse your hands…purify your hearts’ is God telling us to replace our desire to sin with the desire to experience God’s purity.

I doubt. I admit it. Sometimes I wonder if God knows what He is doing – kind of a ‘DUH’ moment when that happens. Of course He knows, but He is also okay with me talking to Him about it. The more I talk to Him, the less fear and doubt I have.

Visualization:
If you have ever cross stitched, or seen a completed cross stitch project before it is framed, usually the back side is a complete mess (mine are, anyway). The front, the one shown from the frame and seen by the world, is beautiful, but the back is a disaster.

I compare the back side of a completed cross stitch project to how I view my life…. Lines going this way and that, zig zag all over the place. Holes in some spots, knotted up threads in others.

 

The front though... the front is what God was working on through that ugliness that I see. The front is what He was making us into the whole time we thought we were messing up. Even while we were messing our lives up and veering off the path God wanted us on, He did something good with it.

He made my life beautiful.

(Photo credit: Flicker)

Life and Faith

Did you know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship? For a time, I did not know that. I had my head in a fantasy land looking for the ‘Perfect Man’ who would be perfect just for me.

In the 15 years since I thought that, I have discovered that God has a man out there who is perfect for me, but he will have flaws. And he will make me angry at him. And he will be insensitive, among other things. Because that is what men do. And this is OKAY.

I will make him angry as well, and frustrate him, among other things. Which is what women do. And this is OKAY.

We will also make each other laugh, smile, feel at peace and secure with the other, honor the vows we took the day we got married and so on.

It is because we are made differently. God did that on purpose, to balance each other out. Men and women are to complete each other, and become one (Gen. 2:24, Eph. 5:31).

Jealousy and insecurity have no place in a Christian home. If these two things exist, then other problems also exist. I cannot speak to a lot of that as I have not been a wife in a Christian home, but I can speak to the fact that if you are not equally yoked, so many more problems arise.

There is another with which we must become one with in order to taste the full joy of living a complete life. We must trust in Jesus Christ, as Lord and Savior of our lives. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and He saves us from becoming an enemy of God.

John 10:15-17 (NASB)

¹⁵ even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. ¹⁶ I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. ¹⁷ For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again.

Jesus gave His life, the only perfect life ever lived, for us. He did it so we might live – not just life here on earth, but eternal life, with Him, in Heaven. I, for one, cannot wait to see Heaven. I long for the day when I can touch the Hand that was nailed to the cross so I might thank Him face to face for loving me enough to go through that brutal and violent death.

Trust in Him. Find someone to talk to. Or contact me.

Choose a life that is truly worth living and really live it.
 

 

 

 

Clarity

There has been a great many things happening lately and I can see the GOOD that is coming, and I see the BLESSINGS God has given me and is still giving me, and I can HEAR His voice with such clarity.

There are some things I have such a peace about, even when it appears to be surrounded by uncertainty or when the devil is trying to play mind games with me, making me needlessly doubt.

 

 I LOVE these verses! They are such a great reminder of the things we, as Christians, have to look forward to. The mental image of running a race, hitting potholes and other obstacles that the devil will throw in our path to try and get us off task comes to mind every time I see this or remember this verse.

Last night as I lay in bed, these images of REALLY BAD THINGS happening around or to me kept rolling through my mind. I know these things were not of or from God, so I prayed. It took a little bit to get the sick feeling from my stomach, but it did go away. These images were playing on my greatest fears, and if you don’t think the devil knows your greatest fears and weaknesses, then you have another thing coming.

Run the race. Don’t let the potholes and other things blocking your path bog you down. Keep your eyes focused on the Prize. And PRAY like crazy!!!

The Storm Around Me

This week has been a great storm of emotion! Between personal stuff, work stuff, church stuff, and singles stuff, this week could have qualified as overwhelming! To round it all out, there were a couple of announcements made at my church this morning that, while I knew they were coming, still caught me off guard with how emotional I got over them.

Sometimes, do you wonder (like I do) where God is in some of the things happening around you? I KNOW without a doubt He is there, He has control, and nothing ever happens without His awareness. The past, the present, the future, it is already laid out and we just have to trust in Him to make it through the stuff we have to go through.

We had a great lesson and discussion this morning in Sunday School. It was over the entire chapter of Proverbs 3, but we spent a lot of time on verses 5-6, and 7-8 continued to affect me as I reflected on this past week.  The entire chapter is about the rewards of wisdom, but these verses in particular spoke to me.

Proverbs 3: 5-8 (NASB)

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
⁸ It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.

I use the New American Standard Life Application Study Bible, and sometimes the footnotes speak to me just as much as the Word does.

Proverbs 3:6 footnote:

To receive God’s guidance, said Solomon, we must acknowledge God in all our ways. This means turning every area of life over to Him. About a thousand years later, Jesus emphasized this same truth (Matthew 6:33). Look at your values and priorities. What is important to you? In what areas have you not acknowledged Him? What is His advice? In many areas of your life you may already acknowledge God, but it is the areas where you attempt ot restrict or ignore His influence that will cause you grief. Make Him a vital part of everything you do, then He will guide you because you will be working to accomplish His purposes.

How incredible are those words? I have no idea who wrote these footnotes in this Bible, but they really get to the heart of things. I’ve seen God answer prayer for me in the last few weeks because I’ve given up control of certain things in my life that I was trying to maneuver, obviously without any level of success.

There is one thing I still try to control and am having very little success with it, but I am also frustrated because I do not see progress or (seemingly) an answer to prayer, just defiance and a refusal to cooperate. I am terrified that the mistakes I have made will have long-term effects and there will be nothing I can do.

In this hurricane happening around me, I see Jesus’s outstretched hand grabbing hold of mine as I am sinking beneath the waves trying to swallow me whole. I grasp on and hang on for dear life, because I know the only way I will get through is to hold on to that nail scarred hand and never let go.

 

 

Rooted and Grounded

I found an interesting article this morning about nice guys finishing last. Like the author, I do not understand why nice guys say they finish last. I do get what she is saying about women wanting excitement and someone who is not a doormat (because really, while getting your way ALL the time can be fun, it does get old after awhile).

I think there are nice guys out there who tend to pick women that are attractive, but shallow or are looking for some kind of ‘sugar daddy’ or crutch to get them through the current chapter of their life. Or just someone to support them.

I’ve always been really independent, and never wanted to rely on someone else for anything. I’ve had friends actually get on to me about it because I was reluctant to accept their help. I’m still reluctant, but when I know there is nothing else I can possibly do, I give in. I always manage to figure out a way around, but usually, God does something amazing. J I always like that better.

The nice guy – one of the things the author in this article talks about is nice guys focusing SO much on being nice that they do not appear confident or do not set boundaries, and women are unable to respect the man who is a doormat.

Ladies – you know this! I couldn’t respect a man – long term – if he were a doormat.

My place is not as the leader of the home, it is as the helper. God gave each of us, men and women, different strengths and weaknesses to complement each other and hold each other up and accountable as well. Men and women were made to love each other and respect each other, mutually. Neither was meant to be a doormat or treated as a lesser person in the relationship.

God sees all and can do all. I had a stressful stretch of time this morning and am thankful for friends who listen and offer sound advice and for those who pray for me without me even having to ask. Below is a verse that sums up (to me) what relationships with each other and with God should be.

Do not be a doormat. Treat each other with respect and kindness.

Ephesians 3:16-21 (NASB)

¹⁶ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, ²¹ to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.