My heart hurts....

There is someone I used to know... that I still sorta know... but she does not come in contact with anyone who knew her 18 months ago because she is different today than she was then.

She has changed, and the change came because of a guy. She put her religious beliefs in a box, locked it and threw away the key. She has accepted this guys' religious beliefs, which go completely against the ones she used to have.

She has also apparently changed her views on lifestyles that are Biblically wrong, and now embraces that as well.

My heart hurts for the friend I used to know.

I see her better than I have ever seen her before though, now that I can look from a distance. I find it sad that someone can turn on their beliefs and God so easily in an attempt to control their own lives.

I've done it.. not the turning on God part, but the controlling my life part. It usually doesn't work out so well.

I struggle with it. I struggle with many things. One of which is the desperate need of my child, and his desire for a father. I told him good men don't grow on trees and that God will bring us the right man at the right time. He just hasn't done so yet, and that is okay too. We can wait patiently and in the meantime, God has placed men in our lives for various reasons. Some are 'grandfather' types to my boy, and he needs that. Some are uncle types, since his uncles live several states away. Some have adopted him into their families and given him cousins locally. One is a big brother, who is currently serving his country in a far off place. My boy misses that man-boy.

I think we all wish we could see God's grand design, so that we know the things we do are not in vain. That our prayers are not igored, or that God really just doesn't care. There is an entire Book called the Bible telling us how much He truly cares for us.

We just have to let Him in.

Psalm 73:26 (NASB)

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the  strength of my heart and my portion forever.