This post is inspired by an article I received via email earlier today. The article is mostly hanging men out to dry for 'E-Maintaining' women, either by text, email or social media. I completely agree with the article. On the flip side, there are women who are just as guilty, so don’t slam me on this. I also do not deal well with someone who will text me about 5 seconds after I call them to ask what I want. Really? You couldn’t just pick up the phone? (Caveat: @ work or otherwise busy might be excusable occasionally)
MY (b/c it is my blog) problem with this is men who think it is okay to never call, that I will be satisfied with a text, email or facebook comment/like/poke from them. While I am comfortable in this electronic age, I prefer to be courted the old-fashioned way. If any man thinks I will respond to random texts that have no meaning, where they do not respond to questions, ask questions, or show ANY kind of interest, he’s crazy. I actually asked someone last week if he was the kind of guy who always texted, and never called. His response was that he was at work and would be made fun of if he was “caught talking to a girl.” Seriously? I’m not asking you to drop your life to call me right this second, but wanted to know if you make the effort to actually call women (and he still hasn't called, so I think I answered my own question??). I’ve dealt with too many men (boys) who will only text occasionally, but still get upset or act like a child when I don’t respond to their attempt at communication. Or he will say “but I AM talking to you.” Text, email and facebook don’t count, sweetie.
Yes, maybe I am ranting a little, but I honestly get tired of men who claim to make an effort and don’t actually do anything. I’m not a teenager. Asking me out on a text message will get a silent response. And teenage girls? You shouldn’t put up with that either. God put us on earth to honor each other, and in today’s world, that just doesn’t happen too often.
MEN…
Make an effort to appreciate the woman you are interested in. Don’t play games. Don’t expect her to respond favorably if the only attempt at communication you make is non-verbal. CALL her and ask her out. Show her you are interested. If she doesn’t live close (within an hour or so), show her you are interested by going to see her, or sending flowers or calling. Or something. Anything that says “you caught my eye and I want to know you better.” I hate the rule of ‘wait X days before calling or you will appear too eager.’ Don’t stalk her, but follow-up. It really is okay to communicate via text/email/facebook, but don’t let that be the ONLY way you talk to her. Be honest. Don’t be intimidated by a woman who has an opinion or a brain. Open doors for her. Ask her opinion on things. Bring her flowers. Listen to her when she is talking. Notice her clothes/hair/manicure.. it makes her feel special.
WOMEN…
Don’t blow them off. If you aren’t interested, let the guy know – but gently. Don’t crush his spirit. He did try, you know. If you are interested, don’t play games with him. Answer the phone when he calls, or call him back within a reasonable amount of time (i.e. don’t wait a week). Don’t get hysterical if he doesn’t do things the way YOU think he should. People are different, that is what makes this world interesting. Don’t stalk him, trying to find out if he is interested in you, you will just scare him. Be yourself. Eat real food, not just salad. Don’t pretend to be interested in something because the guy is.. you will just look phony. Be honest. Don’t be afraid to be who you are, a woman with an opinion and a brain. Let a man open doors for you, it doesn’t mean you are weak; he is showing he can/will care for you. Listen to him when he talks.. if you shut him down from the beginning, you have no right to claim he won’t talk to you in the future. Thank him when he does something nice for you.
These are just a few things… I’m sure there are more bits of advice to offer. Anyone else want to chime in?
Hear! Hear! I agree w/ you whole heartedly! I am a widow now of 2 yrs & have not dated in over 15 yrs. Man, how the dating world has changed in that time. I have always appreciated a man opening a door (even the car door!) for me. I always reply w/ a "thank you" in return. Just common courtesys seem to be a thing of the past. Men (boys) have lost the art of "courting" a woman. If they only knew how much a simple act of kindness affects a woman. I wonder what this world would do if we lost all our electronic gadgets. We would have to rely on snail mail again. Wow! What a thought! People would actually have to sit down and write their thoughts on paper to someone. What kind of history are we leaving behind us for our grandchildren to look over when they come of age to date. What will it be for them? Just some food for thought.
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