What Comes First?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the qualifications of the person I would allow into my life, especially on a permanent basis. It is the most important decision I would ever make, and I would not want to be wrong in any way. Covering this decision with prayer is the best way to make sure I do not make a decision based on anything other than God’s desire for my future.

My very first and most important qualification is to find someone who puts God before me. Anything else as a standard will create havoc and ultimately failure in a relationship. Yes…before me. In a true relationship that honors God, Christ – They are first. Not me, not him, not kids. God.

If the man or woman you are waiting for loves God and has a relationship with Christ and you can see them working and fruit being developed, then the relationship with Christ is genuine. Just remember, their ministry might be different than yours, so do not be discouraged and walk away. Trying something new is good for you, and you may find you enjoy a different area of ministry.

The one thing to remember is the only qualification that should matter the most is that relationship with Christ. How can you judge who does more of what without judging the person? That isn't your responsibility. Our call as a Christian is to love people to Christ, witness to non-Believers and to sow seeds of faith.

There is a really great page on Facebook – Having Healthy Marriage’s and Relationships GOD’s Way – and I love the things they post. For example:

“Singles you can't go into marriage with a single mindset. Both spouses must be ready to make many sacrifices. The Bible says (Mark 10:8) ‘and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.. You can't become one if everything is me, me, me, or mines.”

I really like this one. I posted a couple of months ago about the Ephesians way of treating each other in a marriage, and these couple of lines about the differences in the mindset between single and married is profound.  

AND:

“Married couples, Your Marriage is your most important priority except your relationship with GOD. Don't devalue it. Your children, and everyone else comes after that.”

I love this too. I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago with someone on this very topic, and was surprised he agreed with me. I’ve had so many disagree and say the kids should come first, but think about that: if mom and dad aren’t happy and getting along, then the kids aren’t happy. And then there is the point when the last kid is gone and the person sitting across from you is a stranger because you haven’t put the marriage relationship before the kids.

When I get married, the marriage relationship will be second to my (and our) relationship with Christ.