Growing Pain

I am blessed with a good friend who has the ability to somehow voice what I cannot. Granted, he does not know me exceptionally well, but I think God has given him the ability to see into people. It is similar to the ability God has given me to read people and understand them.

He made me cry with what he said to me. NOT by being mean or anything like that, but by speaking truth to me in a moment when I needed it. He made me realize some things, and although it hurt, I needed it.

My friend also told me that I should voice my hurt and pain to God, that it is a form of worship. By opening myself completely to Him and allowing Him to come in and heal that wound, I place my faith and trust in Him.

He helps me put into words the things I don’t know how to say, and sees reason. Thankfully, he also has the ability to put perspective on things, and for some reason, I can be completely honest with him, because I’m not afraid he will judge me. So thank you, my friend. You know who you are J

I have entered a growing period. This is a time for me to completely submit to God, because there is one fault, one sin, I repeat on a consistent basis. This is one I’ve got to turn over because if I don’t, there will be no future with a happy ending for me.

I allow this particular sin to completely take over my life, and in many ways. I put other things off, and let this take control. Then, when it blows up in my face, I try to control that.

AND that’s yet another thing God is working on me… the great control freak. I try to control things. There, I said it. I try to control everything around me to the point of obsession, and I refuse to allow God to handle it, even though I SAY I let Him have it. I lie to myself. I lie to God.

And that, in and of itself, is sin.

So, my growing period. It will hurt. It will be painful. But on the other side of it is something amazing and beautiful. Because God knows ultimately what we need, and He wants to give it to us, but we have to completely surrender to Him.