It's All About...the Results

Last week we had Vacation Bible School at church, and my routine changed. (I handled adult snacks for the adult workers).

I only exercised one day that week.

I’ve been working on my thesis.

Fires burning in the city and affecting friends.

I wasn’t eating as well as I normally do.

Personal life challenges.

So by Thursday, I was a wreck. I was emotionally, physically and mentally drained.

I was talking to a friend and telling her how I wanted to just get rid of some emotional baggage in my life, and move forward. Just cut it all out and leave a giant gaping hole where that stuff once was.

Thankfully, she wasn’t exhausted and gave me some words of wisdom. Or made me realize that wisdom was already in my head, but I needed to voice it and see it written out (I'm a visual learner). She also told me that making decisions when I am that exhausted will lead to regret (She's right!!).

She asked me what God’s plan was for me, and this is what I told her:

God wants me to TRUST Him and have FAITH that His will is playing out in my life right now and I have to be completely and utterly dependent on Him while I wait.

I have already admitted that patience is not a virtue of mine. I know it isn’t. I have good moments, and I have bad. When I’m stressed, I tend to be less patient (as if it could get any worse!).

I’m only human… what can I say? I’m not perfect, by any means. I’m just who I am. All the things I’ve done in my life, all of the things I have seen, all of the things that have happened to me –good and bad –have made me who I am today.

God is working on that in me. He has made me realize some things in recent weeks, about who I am and who I want to be. He is still working on parts of me that I’m a little stubborn about. I’m coming around though… I don’t seem to have a choice. When God wants you to change some part(s) of you to become better for His kingdom, He keeps pulling at the thread til it unravels completely. Then you just wait for Him to knit it back together into a better piece of material.

I have realized some things about who I want to be once I have finished walking this path... more to come on that in the future.

The one thing I know I need to 100% realize, truly believe, and hold tight to is that God will ALWAYS be working in my life, as long as I am faithful to Him and His will for my life.

I will not be ‘perfect’ while I reside this side of Heaven. No one should expect that from me, because they will be sorely disappointed.

I will say the wrong things, or over-react because I can be a complete emotional girl at times, and not think straight. But when I come to realize what I’ve done and ask for forgiveness, it should be given to me.

The great deceiver loves to play games with our minds and our emotions, because he has been given that ability to do so by God. This is where we are tested. There are two results.

1. The Refiner’s Fire cleanses the impurities and makes you stronger.

2. You cannot tolerate the Refiner’s Fire, and are disintegrated.

I like to believe I fall into the first category, because I come out stronger (and sometimes wiser) on the far side of the fire.

Zechariah 13:9(NASB)

⁹ “And I will bring the third part through the fire,
Refine them as silver is refined,
And test them as gold is tested.
They will call on My name,
And I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are My people,’
And they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

One day, when I arrive in Heaven and finally lay my eyes on Jesus, I want to talk to Him about these times in my life, that I was tested and showed resolve to make it through the fire. I don’t want to ask why I was tested, because I already know the answer to that. What I want to know is, did I make Him proud?

I want Him to say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Because really, that is what it is all about.