I was on a first date with a guy – not a tenth wedding
anniversary or even a 1 year dating anniversary – but a first date. He started
off by telling me he would order my meal for me, which I politely declined. I’m
not a child, and I have severe food allergies. Ordering my meal is a disaster
waiting to happen. On a second date with this same guy, I had just commented
how I would like to try the Kendall-Jackson Reisling (white wine). Our server
comes over and he says “she will have red wine.” Say what???? Contrast to a
first date with a different guy who says “order whatever you want.” Ah, now
that’s more like it... In the grand scheme of things, it is a nice gesture, but
you might want to wait until you know the lady before ordering her meal. Or her
drink… Or better yet, try listening a
little closer.
Ladies – this goes for you too. Don’t assume the guy wants
that giant steak or that he is a vegan like you. Let him order what he wants.
If I’m out with someone and unsure of what he wants to drink, I at least order
a water and ask the server to return if he isn’t at the table already.
This article
I found describes the things we ladies really don’t like for you gentlemen to
do, even if you think you are being really nice. Most are pretty on target. I’ve
already talked about one of them – ordering food for the lady. Really guys,
don’t do this unless you KNOW her, know her tastes, or she has said she wants
something specifically.
Nicknames – oh, I can’t stand nicknames. Or “Hey Girl.” I
think that one annoys me more than anything else. Like, you don’t remember my
name cause you have so many ‘girls’ in your life? ‘Hey girl’ is a generic term
and ‘girl’ is a term used for the females much younger than me. Like, my
niece’s ages (they are all under 10 yrs old). If you think you are being funny
or cute by repeatedly calling me ‘girl’, let me assure you of this: you aren’t.
Ladies – if you don’t want a nickname, don’t give him one.
Social media… did you know that Facebook
messages and posts have been used in divorce, custody and other court cases? I
don’t overshare, except for my political leanings and Denver Broncos love J Those people who
‘overshare’ about their relationships drive me insane. I mean, I’m happy you
found someone, but for real? I don’t need your happiness slammed in my face
24/7, which is why I ‘unfollow’ those people now. I still like them and am
genuinely happy they have found someone, but can’t stand the constant stream of
ick. This goes for some guy being icky about a new relationship as well… just
don’t do it.
Ladies – typically we are the guilty party of oversharing,
so just watch what you are doing. Do you really want to offend all of your
single female friends because you have found a new man? And seriously, if it
doesn’t work out, how much crow will you have to eat over the masses of ick
posts?
Flowers… I LOVE flowers. I buy myself flowers. I do NOT buy
myself long stemmed red roses… cause they are basically cheesy (no, I don’t
watch those Bachelor shows and yes, the roses are cheesy). Wildflowers, tulips, lilies and so on… those
are wonderful. Don’t go for the long stemmed red rose (and for goodness sake,
if you are out and you run across one of those people selling long stemmed red
roses from a cart, DO NOT get one for the lady you want to impress).
Ladies – I don’t know what to tell you here… don’t do the
cheesy guy gift, like a tie or something because it seems like the long stemmed
red rose – not a whole lot of thought went into it.
There are a few others, but inappropriate to talk about in
this lane, since I’m not married.
I’ve met a few people who think it is funny to tell crass
jokes. For instance, someone I had just met started telling me jokes about sex.
I looked at him and told him I have to hear a lot of that stuff at work and I
don’t want to hear it, especially from someone who professes to be a Christian.
He told me that “sex is a part of life.” I was shocked that my views were so
callously dismissed. It was as if I
wasn’t allowed an opinion on the subject. I do agree that sex is a part of
life, but I think it needs to stay between a husband and a wife, within the
covenant of marriage. I know, I mentioned this in blog or two ago, but I just
want to reiterate to everyone that if someone is offended by something you are
saying (especially if you profess to be a Christian), you might want to think
about what you are saying rather than blowing it off.
I don’t have a problem with someone opening my door (car or
building) for me, having me walk on the inside of the sidewalk or other typical
gentlemanly things, but there is a line you can cross that makes it more
annoying than gentlemanly.
All I’m saying is… watch how ‘nice’ you are and don’t
overstep (hey ladies, this can go for you too!!)
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