Oh Standards...

Once again, I have been told I need to “lower my standards” or I will never find someone. My answer this time was this:

“If I lower my standards, I will never find God’s best for me. And my standards are God’s standards, not mine. I don’t want what the world thinks is best for me, I want God’s best for me.”

My standards are not ridiculous - they are based on character, morals,values and most importantly, spiritual life. I'm not sure how lowering those standards would benefit me in any way.

If I went for the world’s standards of finding a mate, I would look for someone who has great looks, lots of money and a big house with loads of expensive ‘stuff.’  I only have one thing to say to that:

Matthew 6:19-21 (NASB)

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; ²¹ for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 

I think the person who fits the world standard would also be lacking in morals and values, and be fixated on the wrong things in a relationship. I had a conversation with someone recently who kept making references to sex (I had only just met this particular person). When I explained my feelings on the subject of sex, I was told that “sex is a part of life.” I agree with that, except that sex should be discussed openly and freely, and perhaps even jokingly, within the marriage covenant. Not thinly veiled ‘wink, wink’ jokes with someone you just met.

As an aside, there is nothing that is more of a turn-off than some guy you just met making jokes that are offensive, and then he basically tells you to get over it (without actually saying it). Cause really, why would I want to introduce someone like that to my friends and family? I would be worried sick over what he would say and most likely completely humiliated.  

A few weeks ago I was talking to another friend who told me to ‘never settle’ and while I know I never will, having someone say it makes much more of an impact. I like this illustration:

There are eagles, and there are chickens. The chickens will sometimes dress fancy, wear baubles and color on their faces, but underneath, they are still a chicken. The eagles do not have to decorate themselves to garner attention – it is drawn naturally.

There is a group of people out there who do not know how to treat the eagles. Much of the awkward and inappropriate behavior comes from being around chickens their whole lives, and the level of expectation is so low that they cannot break free from the disrespectful and inappropriate behavior to find an eagle.

I think there is also a level of immaturity that goes along with this behavior, as well as some control issues. When a person acts a certain way, especially around someone they just met (and professed to want to impress), it is obvious the behavior is ingrained and won’t change overnight. I do not have time to wait on someone who does not understand how atrocious their behavior truly is. Some small bit of good does not outweigh blatant disrespect.

My thing is this; I don’t want some guy telling jokes about sex or making inappropriate comments to my child. I don’t want some guy teaching my child that this is okay behavior, then my child being miserable because the women he meets are not quality – and it is because he is not quality as well, having learned this from a role model. I don’t want my child to see me treated in a lesser manner.

I am a Daughter of the King and I should be treated like a Queen, not the court jester.   

1 Corinthians 15:32-34 (NASB)

³² If from human motives I fought with wild beasts at Ephesus, what does it profit me? If the dead are not raised, let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die. ³³ Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” ³⁴ Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.