The Takers Among Us

Disclaimer: My blog, my opinions. If you disagree, great. Be civil. If you write a comment (they are moderated!!) and it is disrespectful in any way, it will not be published. Obviously I publish comments that differ or question what I have said because I will answer them.

Lately, we’ve seen this kind of thing all over the television, through the news media (mostly the people they have commenting on whatever story they are discussing – usually the election), and in the debates. On a more personal level, we see it through the people we interact with. Maybe we even meet a few of these statements on this list in our own lives.

The portion of this I would like to focus on is the people we inadvertantly allow into our lives, or have some type of interaction with. Those people who continually believe they are right. Those people who refuse to listen to reason because the voice in their own mind is louder. Those who are never, ever wrong, no matter the evidence put before them that obviously show otherwise.

I know a few people like this. Some are in position of power, you might say. Others want to be but through their own foolishness and nature, they are not.

The list on the Psychology Today website for qualities people exhibit who are classified as ‘Takers’ is:

1. They act entitled to whatever they’re taking from you.
2. They treat you as an extension of themselves.
3. When they hurt or disappoint you they don’t experience guilt, shame or remorse.
4. They won’t apologize to you, but will expect you to apologize to them.
5. Their wish is your command, and if you don’t comply, you don’t love them.
6. They believe their problems are someone else’s fault.
7. They believe that you and everyone else are in this world to make them happy.
8. When you give to them, they don’t feel compelled to say thank you or be grateful.
9. If they feel taken from by you, they become outraged and entitled to become enraged.
10. They don’t regret taking from you, but they regret not taking even more from you.
11. They need to have the last word in conversations.
12. They don’t take turns well.
13. They are impatient and hate to wait.
14. They interrupt or butt into conversations.
15. They act as if they are always right.
16. They act as if they are never wrong.
17. When they’re frustrated, they feel justified in doing anything to make themselves feel better.
18. They won’t tell you specifically what you are doing wrong or ask you directly for what they need— they expect you to read their minds.
19. They are stubborn and you may confuse their stubbornness for strength and be attracted to them because of it.
20. They aren’t motivated to know, care or do anything unless it gets them something.
21. They are quick to ridicule or laugh at others, but have little ability to laugh at themselves or tolerate being laughed at.
22. They either cannot or will not put themselves in another person’s shoes.
23. They hold everyone else accountable, but evade being held accountable.
24. They talk much more than they listen.
25. They’ll expect a second, third and fourth chance from you when they hurt you; but they won’t give you a second chance when you hurt them.

I am taking from this list that most, if not all, of the people you know exhibit some of these qualities. I know I have a couple of them.

The difference is this: takers most likely exhibit the majority of this list.

I highlighted a few of the traits I have recognized in people, specifically three people I have had personal interaction with over the past 3 years. All three of these people have done and said things to me that show just how much of a 'taker' they truly are. Looking back, I am amazed that two of them are in the positions they are in.

One in particular fits number 19 well, and has self-proclaimed to me that he is stubborn. This particular person is also a narcissistic personality, and believes he can get away with anything,  repeating his actions over and over, thinking the things he does will never catch up with him. This person claims to be a Christian, albeit a different denomination (one that is more of a cult, in my mind/opinion), and if this is the truth –only he really knows- then he WILL answer to God on his day of reckoning. I only question his beliefs due to his repeated actions of the same nature, but that is ultimately not my judgment. This person uses people up to fulfill selfish reasons, and somehow makes it the used person’s fault when he is done with them. A clear ‘taker’ if I’ve ever seen one.

Another is in a position of power over people who could be considered vulnerable. This person has a group of people believing he can do no wrong and that his word is final on any and everything and should never be questioned. When someone dares to question, they are met with elements of ridicule or exile… or both. BOTH is what happened to me by this person and ultimately his group of ‘followers.’ (Side note: I’m sure once certain people see this blog, the exile will continue or expand). This person likes having total control and cannot fathom that anyone else would have ideas that are better than his. With the position this person holds, his day of reckoning will be more severe than most, according to what the Bible tells us.

The third person has number 6 down. I mean… wow. I have never met anyone who exhibits this level of victim mindset. Numbers 11 and 17 also fit this person. Having a conversation with this individual is difficult at best, simply because your side of the argument (?) is never considered as valid, and you are interrupted so many times it becomes pointless to continue. As far as 17 goes… no details (per my usual rules), but there is clear evidence that show this person how wrong they are, but the arguments and the blame continue that everyone else is wrong.

My entire point of this blog is to watch out for these people. Keep these types of people as far away as possible in order to maintain your own sanity. As the article says,

“How do you recognize takers? The best way to recognize a taker is to make the most of the hindsight you will beat yourself up with, the next time you’re taken from by one of them.”

God’s own Word talks about these types of people:

1 Samuel 2:2-4 (NASB)

² “There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.
³ “Boast no more so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed.
⁴ “The bows of the mighty are shattered,
But the feeble gird on strength