Letting GO

I’ve talked a lot about forgiveness lately. It is something I struggle with, especially where a couple of people are concerned.

One of these is someone who treated me terribly last year. This person lied to me repeatedly, manipulated me and convinced me of something that was just untrue. I’ve been working on forgiving him. In thinking back, I’ve come to realize he has done this so many times that the manipulating of other people is second nature, and I wonder if he even knows what truth is anymore. In a way, I feel sorry for him. He has brought a lot of grief into his life and to those who are around him, but he does not see this as a problem. He somehow sees himself as a victim of circumstances, but he created the circumstances that have led him to this point in his life.

Like I said, I’m working on forgiving him, but it isn’t easy. Part of me is still angry, and that is mostly directed at me for falling for this manipulation. I always thought I was smarter and could see through someone’s attempts at manipulating me, but I failed in this one. It hurt, quite a bit, and I think I am working more on forgiving myself than this person. He will eventually have to answer for using religion and God in his efforts to manipulate people.

Part of my problem in forgiving him is my own sin as well. I am well aware of this fault, so no bashing me on it.

This coming Friday is Good Friday. If you know nothing about this day, read this blog, because she explains it so well: http://faithfulprovisions.com/2012/04/04/what-is-good-friday/. Jesus Christ CHOSE to die for our sins in a most horrific manner, so that we would no longer be separated from God.

This coming Sunday is Easter, one of the most important days in Christianity. On Easter Sunday, a little over 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ, Son of God, rose from the dead. His mission was accomplished. He died, stayed dead for three days and rose again to return to home to Heaven after spending a little more time on earth. Jesus forgave us. He shed His precious blood for us so that we may live eternally in Heaven should we choose to believe in Him.

So, I’m working on forgiving myself and becoming less angry at this guy who is so steeped in sin that he cannot see how destructive he truly is. I’m sure it will take some time on my part, but I’m getting there and I will forgive him.

Psalm 32:1-3 (NASB)

32 How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
² How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!

³ When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
Through my groaning all day long.

 

Psalm 130:3-5 (NASB)

³ If You, Lord, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But there is forgiveness with You,

That You may be feared.

⁵ I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait,
And  in His word do I hope

Photo credit: http://lakeviewadventist.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/your-sins-are-forgiven/understanding-forgiveness-201-blog-1/

Your Worth...

is more than gold!

Boys and girls hear every day how they do not live up to a certain standard… the world’s standard. They are too – short, tall, thin, fat, light, dark – and so on. Whatever it is the world does not like, those words eat away at the self-esteem of these children.

It is supposed to get easier as you get older, and in some ways, it does. In others, it gets worse. Somewhere along the way we always have to grow up and pay our own way, pay bills, take care of ourselves, get to work on time.

Life gets easier when you realize you do not have to live by the world’s standard. It isn’t simple… we still get bombarded by the images the world thinks we should look like, but it becomes easier to ignore them once you realize you are who you are.

Being satisfied with yourself is the hardest thought process to conquer. Self-confidence is so important, and so fragile. With the fairer sex, our emotions drive a lot of how we feel about ourselves. There are days we don’t feel very pretty and fat, so we put that on and wear it around. I’m not sure how men deal with this, but I know words can destroy their self-confidence and self-esteem just as fast as emotions can to women.

The thing to take away from what I am saying is to trust yourself. Your beauty and attractiveness comes from inside. We’ve all heard how looks fade, and that is true. Don’t concentrate on your physical appearance; instead know that your inner beauty is most important.

Trust God. Trust that He has given you everything you need to survive and your worth is far more than what the world tries to tell you. God KNEW you before you were even born… He KNEW you before your parents even got married.

Psalm 139:10-15 (NASB)

¹⁰ Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
¹² Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Check out this song by Britt Nicole…

No One is Perfect

I had an interesting experience yesterday which only validated my thoughts on how some men today view women...actually, how they treat women.

I’m eating lunch at my desk and one of the guys who works in my area comes up and says “where are we going for lunch?” (I’ve never had lunch with this guy). I looked at him, looked at my lunch and said “I’m eating right here.”

He replies (wait for it) “That’s no way to respond when someone asks you to lunch!”

Astounded, I sat there and looked at him. I let him know that he did not, in fact, ask me to lunch. He asked where we were going for lunch (in my mind, making the assumption that I was having lunch with him…because he is SO appealing????)

He decided he needed to argue with me, telling me he did ask me to lunch and that’s the way he does it.

So THIS is why he is still single… learn how to speak properly to a woman, buddy, and maybe you will get someone to go out with you.

Another guy that I know doesn’t know how to be just a friend to a woman. He has made some comments to me that are inappropriate and show just how high a regard he holds himself in. I’m sure he is a great guy, but I honestly do not want to spend any time finding out because he is so obnoxious.

Let this be a warning to you guys – the kind of woman you would like to be involved with will expect you to treat them properly. Open doors, pull her chair out, pay attention to what she is saying, do not make inappropriate comments/jokes, PUT AWAY THE SMARTPHONE!!!! 

There are a lot of people out there who do not expect to be treated properly because they never have been treated properly. Some women think they need to ‘fix’ the man they end up with, as if he is broken. Some men think they need to be ‘king’ of their world and whatever woman they deem worthy should wait on him hand and foot.

Both of these thought patterns are straight out wrong. The Bible does not advocate for treating people in a manner that places them lower than you. If you think someone needs to be ‘fixed’ and you are the only one who can do it, then you are placing yourself in a position that elevates you – it is pride that has this attitude, not love. If you think someone is put on earth to serve you and cater to your every need – again, pride is the source of this.

We are supposed to love each other. I don’t mean be “in love” with everyone who crosses your path, but to love people like God loves us. This kind of love is shown in how you respond to daily living and the things that are thrown into your path. It is not about what love is, but what love does and does not do (see 1 Cor. 13:1-7 and Cooper Abrams link listed below).

Guys - treat the women in your life with respect, even if you aren't married to them. This will go a long way in how you are viewed.

Ladies, you have to treat men with respect. They are not typically broken, even if they do have some rusty spots. (worry about those when you are in a committed relationship).

John 13:34 (NASB)

³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

1 Peter 4:8-9 (NASB)

⁸ Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹ Be hospitable to one another without complaint.

Cooper Abrams. True Biblical Love in Action. http://bible-truth.org/msg108.html

Say Goodbye to Emotional Prison

(http://leolaksi.wordpress.com/2009/11/)

In talking with my child the other day (after he made a bad behavior choice), he said he wished he had a time machine so he could go back and undo what he had done.

I think we have all been there at some point. I know I have.

I tried explaining to him that we all have moments we wish we could change what we had done or said, but we cannot. In those moments of regret, we have to ask for forgiveness.

Most importantly, we have to forgive ourselves.

Other people may not remember what you did years later, but it sometimes stays with us, especially if it happened to be a significant moment.

I think that is the devil’s way of keeping us locked up in our own emotional prison, because if we were truly free to love God and worship without regret, then the devil would lose, and boy, the one thing he doesn't want to do is lose!

Emotional prison is the worst place to be. Depression and other things come from that place, and it isn’t a pretty place. Emotional prison affects more than just ourselves, it affects people around us too, and especially those we care about.

Mandisa has an amazing song called ‘Say Goodbye’ that speaks to the heart of this. Check out this video:

Let go of your past. Let go of the pain and give it all to Jesus. He DIED for you. He DIED so you could live. He loves you and died so you could have freedom in your life. No need for the heavy chains of the past. Shed those chains, forgive yourself and live again.

I know this verse is where Moses is giving the Lord's message to Pharoh about letting His people go, but it can relate to the internal and emotional prison we put ourselves (devil convinces us we should be) in. When you set yourself free, the power and glory of the Lord is shown in your life!

Exodus 9:16-17 (NASB)

¹⁶ But, indeed, for this reason I have allowed you to remain, in order to show you My power and in order to proclaim My name through all the earth. ¹⁷ Still you exalt yourself against My people by not letting them go

Temptation and Decisions

No one ever said decision making was easy. Take that new job? Move to another city or state or country? Get married? Stay single? Have a child? So many decisions, and so many ways in which they can go wrong.

Thankfully God is able to use even our worst decisions for His good, which is amazing and frightening all at the same time. It’s as if He knows us. Well, He does!!! While we are given the ability to have free choice in our lives, God is able to use every decision we make for His glory.

Temptation comes from every side…money, stuff, men, women, cars, houses, power. Whatever your weakness is, the devil knows how to entice you. He has made it his life’s work to learn your weaknesses and unless you are strong in Christ, you will not be able to resist.

James 1:13-18 (NASB)

¹³ Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. ¹⁴ But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. ¹⁵ Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. ¹⁶ Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. ¹⁷ Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. ¹⁸ In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

Learn how to make the best Godly decisions you can make. There are five tests you can use to make sure the decision(s) you are making are within God’s will. These came in a study Bible I received many years ago. Brian D. McLaren wrote these and they are:

1.     The Scripture Test – Is it in harmony with the clear teachings of the Scripture? Does it resonate with good examples from Biblical history? Does it avoid violating “the letter” or “the spirit” of God’s Word? Does it fit in with our essential biblical call to love God and love our neighbors?

2.     The Counsel Test – Have you run your decision by wise counselors? Scripture tells us that in the abundance of counselors, we gain wisdom. Have you diligently done so?

3.     The Peace Test – Having prayed about this decision, do you have peace that it is from God? Or, if you still have misgivings (because some good decisions are still scary!), are they compensated for by other tests on this list?

4.     The IQ Test – If you use your God-given brain, educated by Scripture, instructed by counsel, and disciplined in prayer, does the decision make sense?

5.     The Desire Test – Does this decision resonate with your best and deepest desires, those elements of your personality that reflect your God-given makeup?

Passing these tests when making a decision does not guarantee your decision will lead to an easy or trouble free life, but it does increase the likelihood that your decision is in harmony with God’s will and that is what matters most.

I haven’t been that great at following my own advice and have made some not so great decisions based on my desires without testing them to see if they are also what God wants for me. In this, I royally screw up and hurt others in the process.

When we make bad choices, there is forgiveness available from God. You just have to ask for it. I had to teach this lesson tonight to my boy who made a bad decision today. He spoke about how God needed to punish him and I quickly corrected him, saying God gave him to me to guide and correct as needed, so he would learn. God was not going to dole out punishment in the form of lightening from the sky or anything else like that. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but in this instance, it wasn’t really necessary – thank goodness!

My point is, think before you act. Pray before you make a decision. Look before you leap. And resist temptation, no matter how it is disguised.

A Search for Peace

.

 Last night was a first for me. I went onto a radio talk show with a friend to talk about being a Christian single. We seemed to talk about my blog for most of the evening, but delved into some other questions Eric and I had given them. One of them was kind of deep – “What do you expect from God?”

I answered that one first and in keeping in the subject matter, said my guy was somewhere between Prince Charming and Mr. Darcy, and Eric kindly reminded me that I should never limit God with my desires. He is right, of course.

I’m not who I want to be, and I’m not where I want to be in life. I have been told on more than one occasion that I should open a bakery, and I keep saying that is my retirement job. In all truth, it is fear of the unknown, and failure, that keep me from doing it.

(I know this is a little scattered tonight, but that is where I am right now, so please bear with me.)

I am honestly and truly not ready to move into a relationship with someone. I keep thinking I am, and there are things I want, but I really am not. I know this is not the most exciting thing I could say, but there comes a time when we all have to be truly honest with ourselves. I know someone who not only lies to others about relationship issues, but lies inwardly too, and this type of behavior hurts so many people. I refuse to allow this behavior in my life, and won't do something that would risk my sanity and my child's well-being in any manner.

I have always been a better communicator via writing than any other form, and in some ways, that shows. I have to learn how to have those hard conversations face to face. I'm really good at this at work, because it isn't personal, but I am terrible at it in my personal life. I like to avoid sometimes. I am doing better at it, but honestly haven't had a whole lot of practice.

There are times I wish God gave us a roadmap when we were born.. one that showed the decisions we make and the consequences from those decisions. He doesn’t want us to have a roadmap, because He wants us to make choices in a manner of trusting His wisdom and guidance. I’ve been trying to make things a go on my own, and that creates a huge mess in my life and sometimes the lives of others.

I had joined a dating website recently and after a couple of weeks and only meeting one person (who is one of those ‘e-maintainers’ I spoke about on the show last night) I canceled the membership. I think I am just tired of going about things with the world’s urging and am going to spend more time where I should. On my knees, in the Word, with my Jesus.

The passage below was written to help new Christians understand the path they should follow, and although I am not a new Christian, I think I am going to work on these qualities for a while rather than search for something that is not what God wants for me.

2 Peter 1:5-8 (NASB)

⁵ Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, ⁶ and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, ⁷ and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. ⁸ For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ