Alright ladies, I promised the next blog post for you. I have to tell some of my greatest annoyances when talking to other women about dating.
1. Don’t criticize my views on dating when you aren’t dating anyone either. Obviously I have my views and have developed them over time and they fit me and my life.
2. I am picky for a reason. Just because someone asks me out doesn’t mean I should go out with them if I don’t feel it is right.
3. If you are in a relationship, don’t pull the typical girl moves.
a. Ignore me while you are dating a guy, then expect to come back crying over the broken relationship. I honestly don’t want to hear it and seriously won’t care. (Basically, don’t ditch me as a friend b/c you have a boyfriend then come back when you break up)
b. Be my friend. The one I had when we were both single and had fun together doing whatever it was that we did. Don’t constantly talk about your boyfriend while when we are hanging out. I want to spend time with you talking about the other aspects of your life, and of mine.
4. When you are in a relationship, I’ll be happy for you. However, when I’m down about being single (b/c I do get that way, I AM human), don’t tell me the platitudes about guys being this or that. My experiences are what I have to go on and they haven’t been good. Please don’t discount that.
Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, I have some more to say about how women are when it comes to men. I really have a hard time with women who are so desperate to be in a relationship that they chase after any guy who shows them interest. This is not how God made us, ladies. God made us to be revered and cherished, which means we don’t chase after men. Men are supposed to pursue women. God made them that way. God made Eve from Adam’s rib, to be his helper and his mate. Throughout Biblical history, God shows us how women are to be. Just read Proverbs 31 if you don’t believe me.
Another thing to watch is when you do meet someone; do not lose yourself in that man and his life. You are an individual creation of God’s design, and He does not intend for you to get so wrapped up in someone else’s life that you become that person, and in the process, you lose yourself. Make sure you still do the same things you did before you met him. Developing new interests together is fine, but let that happen once there is a serious commitment. Stay committed to the things you were doing before you met him. One thing many women are known for is allowing a new man to take all of their time. It really isn’t healthy, ladies. There has to be some separation between you and that guy. Spending all of your time with one person to the detriment of other commitments in your life can result in a lot of pain and loss, as well as hurt feelings (see #3a above).
Whether God has a mate for each of us or not is definitely not up to us individually. We have to be patient and willing to listen to God’s still, small voice in what we should do (this goes for men too). Most of the time it is to sit and wait. Wait on God to act. Wait on Him to tell the man it is time to act. Most importantly, we ladies just have to wait. While this can be hard, the reward is in the end result, when there is a relationship based on God and the individual relationships with Him that come together.
I believe you found a golden nugget in this one Julie, the time/schedule element is critical. Especially in a new relationship spending every waking moment thinking, talking to and hanging with that person is not healthy, frankly it’s childish. Spending time apart not only increases the mystery and romanticism of the relationship but also allows your brother or sister in Christ to show you their true colors while protecting themself. The center of the relationship is not the man or woman..IT IS CHRIST and serving HIM may take you away from the current person of interest in your life which is OK. It is ok to say no to a date if your schedule will not allow it regardless of your level of interest, even when you have been dating for a while. When we focus on ensuring our lives are healthy and full this will naturally attract the men/women who are worthy to be in our lives, spending time with friends, volunteering at the church, going to the gym, spending time with your children…if you are sacrificing too many things that make up who you are to be with someone then you need to end the relationship, it is doing more harm than good. Remember he asked you out and/or you agreed to the date because of who they are, why change what the initial attraction was based on.
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