God's Grace...

I had a fantastic conversation with someone today regarding how God works in our lives. We discussed how amazing it is to be on the far side of an ‘event’ in our lives and seeing, through grace filled eyes, what God was doing with us during our time of suffering. Or trials. Or painful, emotional craziness.

The ‘whatever’ it is that God walks through with us. Those trials we must endure to become fully mature in HIM.

James 1:2-4 (NASB)

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

I love this verse. It is actually my life verse, as I seem to find myself in more trials than not. It is the process of growing in Christ, and I learn more and more every day.

I’m still in the process of fully discovering what it is that God was teaching me through these last months, but believe I have uncovered some of it.

I know what I am NOT looking for in a man (discovered the hard way).

I know what kind of relationship I want to have 10 (and beyond) years into a marriage.

I know what I need to do to contribute to the relationship.

I know I want and deserve to be respected and cared for.

I know I want the feeling of not being judged when I tell the full story of my life.

I know I deserve to be treated well, instead of like a pet waiting for my master to notice me and pay attention.

I know I deserve someone who gives equally to me as much as I give to him.

I know God is preparing me for someone incredible. This comes in part because of my change in attitude towards relationships (prior to this, I was more of the “assimilate into my life” ideal).

I made my list over, and this time, I’ve got more attributes and how I want to be treated rather than the superficial nonsense I wrote 10+ years ago.

I know I don’t want something that isn’t open and honest.

The man who earns the right to win my heart will do what it takes to be with me - time and location. (and no, that isn’t conceited. It is the truth. And I will do what it takes to be with him, as it goes both ways).

The man who will win my heart -the proper way- will be God's man for me.

These are just some of the things I’ve seen now that the blinders are off. It’s like the line in the song.. “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.”

The 'warts' that show up when you see through God's eyes what truly is can be overwhelming, and freeing at the same time. I told my friend today that I am now able to stand back and see the forest, where before I could only see the trees.

That being said.. this was me for a bit…

Side note: I feel for those people who cannot be truly honest with themselves, and who manipulate and twist things to benefit…self. It is a sad and sorry way to live. I've seen first hand that ego tends to get in the way of truth.