I am what I am...

I would like to take a momentary break from breaking down the things I’ve already written and explain what this blog is all about. Someone mentioned I seem angry or bitter about my circumstances, which is so far from the truth! I am a pretty up-front person and write like I think which tends to not be all good. I am very happy being single, even if I do long for marriage. However, it is not so encompassing of my life that marriage is all I think about. It is not an overwhelming feeling for me, and I certainly do not look at every man that walks by and do a search for a ring or anything like that.

I am very happy in my singleness, because I have a fulfilling life. I have my Jesus, my son, my church and my friends. I have everything I could possibly need at this point in my life. Sometimes I feel sad because I see my married friends doing things I would like to do with someone, but it will come.  The sad times are when I turn it over to God and just say “You take this and do with it what You will… not what I will.”

1 Peter 4:1-11  New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹ Therefore, since Christ has  suffered in the flesh,  arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has  suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, ²  so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. ³ For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries. ⁴ In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; ⁵ but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. ⁶ For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may live in the spirit according to the will of God.

 ⁷ The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. ⁸ Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹ Be hospitable to one another without complaint. ¹⁰ As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. ¹¹  Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the  utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving  by the strength which God supplies; so that  in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ,  to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

I love this passage (the bold is my doing) as a whole, and feel vs 2 and 6 are vital to me in how I am living and what my thought life is. Honestly, my thought life is what ALWAYS gets me. I can be doing perfectly fine, then WHAM! Out of nowhere comes a thought that completely derails everything. And then it consumes me. And then I start getting lonely. And then the loneliness becomes too much. And then I start texting/chatting online with some guy. And then I’m flirting, because I want attention. It is a vicious, vicious circle, this thought life thing. I have to give that over to God too.. and it’s hard. Sometimes I want to revel in those thoughts and imagine a life I don’t have. But that is not what God wants for me. He wants me to rely solely on Him.  

1 Peter 1:7  (NASB)

⁷ so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at  the revelation of Jesus Christ;

My desire for this blog is to not show how much I know, or make people think more of me than I truly am. My desire is to hopefully help someone who is on the edge of the cliff, ready to topple over because they are struggling with being single.

I feel many people put too much of an emphasis on being in a relationship or having a relationship and they overlook the single most important one of all. People will always fail us and hurt us, but Jesus never will. The only relationship we need for fulfillment and happiness is a true relationship with Jesus. That’s not going to make everything easier, but there is so much more comfort in the Christ relationship than the one with that man or woman who prefers to use you or mistreat you.

There is no man or woman on this earth who can fulfill you and make you completely happy like Jesus. Every human being will disappoint us.. family, friends, spouse, children. No matter who they are, you will be disappointed at some point (or many) in the time you know them.

I have no doubts I will fail you as well, and I would only ask that you pray for me, as I will pray for you.