Worldly Dangers.. and my rules/pet peeves

Welcome back! I want to start by saying the world is a dangerous place. J Seriously, it is! There are all kinds of things everywhere, in front of us, bombarding us, with images leading us to thoughts that are impure! We, as Christians, are literally and figuratively under attack every day. Our minds and hearts are filled with deceptive things, lies from the father of lies. Those things that make us believe we are unworthy, ugly, undesirable, .. whatever nasty thought he can get us to believe. The truth is, the father of lies knows where our buttons are, which lies will be easily believed to bring us into despair and brokenness.

Hebrews 10:21-23 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

²¹ and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²² let us draw near with a  sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies  washed with pure water. ²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

I feel this verse from Hebrews is so vital to us as Christians today, in the face of the enemy. We have so much we are faced with on a daily basis and knowing that we have “hope without wavering” from an eternal God is such a relief! I love knowing I can cry and scream out my frustration to my Father in Heaven, and He will not be offended at my grief and anger.

I have to be honest. I am grieved that I am not married yet. I’m 36, with an almost 7 year old son, and I am not married. My son needs a daddy, and I would like a husband. I want to be a part of a partnership, one that relies on each other and worships together. I want these things. I would love to make dinner for more than two people. I would love to have to ‘check’ with my spouse before making plans. I want to be able to go to parties with my husband and introduce him to people he doesn’t know as “my husband, ____________.” I even want the arguments, for goodness sake,  just so I can have someone besides an almost 7 year old to argue with. I know he will come. God has been bringing me closer and closer to what I am looking for, the perfect one for me. He won’t be perfect, but he will be just right for me. And I will be just right for him.

My rules for dating (MINE… no one else’s. Feel free to adopt them if you like)

1.      MUST be a Christian. This doesn’t mean in name only. This means he is ready to be a SPIRITUAL LEADER in our home.

a.       He is the spiritual leader in the home, as described in Ephesians 5.

b.      We worship together.

c.       He knows the Word and takes it to heart.

d.      He will teach my (our) son what it means to be a Christian man.

2.      MUST be willing to take on a father role. I’m a package deal.

3.      No sexual relationship before marriage. There must be a solid line – it is best to discuss this prior to entering into a serious relationship.

4.      I won’t actually “date” someone just to have someone in my life.

a.       I will go out with a man a few times before I determine his status in my life.

b.      I will not enter into a relationship with a man I do not think I can marry.

5.      I won’t chase a guy either. I may do something to let him know I’m interested, but I refuse to chase. I don’t feel I should have to.

6.      To me, age means nothing (to a point). I look for maturity, spiritual and otherwise. I can say I will not date over 10 years in either direction though… gets too young (maturity issues) or too old (tend to not be active enough) for me. So, these are my basic rules. Obviously they hit the main spots in dealing with relationships for me.

7.      Non-smoker (SO gross!)

8.      No illegal drugs or other illegal activities

9.      No psycho crazy people. (Yes, had one of these. Recently too)

My pet peeves when I’m getting to know someone, or am with someone, even a friend.

1.      It is the technology age. Even so, I cannot stand it when someone is constantly texting someone else when I’m right there. I find it incredibly rude. And honestly, this applies to everyone. I know I answer texts, but I’m not in a constant ‘Text’ conversation (or try not to be) with someone when I’m with a person, friend or date.

2.      Being consistently late. Running into traffic on your way to meet me is one thing. Forgetting what time we were meeting/picking me up anything more than 10 minutes late/losing track of time b/c of that tv show/game/video game etc is disrespectful. Manage your time better.

3.      Rudeness to servers or other people we interact with that are not known to you.

4.      Having an attitude of superiority.. I have enough of that in other areas of my life.

5.      The inability to talk important issues- religion, politics, whatever is important. Whether by refusing because you know nothing about them or playing ‘ostrich,’ it is pretty clear you don’t look/live outside of your bubble.

6.      Sometimes, just sometimes, all we want is your friendship guys. (This can apply to the ladies too)

7.      When a guy gets bent out of shape because I don’t show interest in more than friendship, but he NEVER tells me his interest level. Or never asks me out. Or do anything that would indicate interest beyond friendship (**See rule #5). I’m not a mind-reader!

For my next few posts, I'm going to talk about my rules, and why they are important to me. So, I hope you will continue on this journey with me. God Bless!